Can’t figure out something that comes all together

this happens to me at a norm. Fights with my girl and illogical (most of the time) syntax within my code and poorly layed algorithm. (working, but not efficient). Most of the time, when im in an eager and enthusiastic mode to learn something new, a black cat comes in a form of an argument with my significant other. Ive been down many times and have struggled to stay within the confines of my temper but that won’t just do. When that happens, the dominoes are set-up just waiting for that right time and the right finger having the right strength and position to just push it all in and make such art work. in effect, i make something shit out of shit… doesn’t make sense does it? anyways, when it comes to figuring something out, for is like a chain… what ever you do on one end, it happens to the next. the thing is, when it all falls down or at least one of my concern does such, i can’t figure out the thing that makes it all fall down. I guess its just me and the way i do things, my orientation on it and all what affects it. Really damn confuse on what shall and shan’t do… just wanna make me focus on that 1 thing, either/or. Love or programming, chicken or egg, love or hate. those kinds of things. i wish everything was of such close link so that when you do good on one side, the other mirrors. i just really can’t figure something out when it all falls down, not one.. not any….

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